My Day - 26 Feb , 2012

Again, a good day in the sense that I came to some sort of decision about how my career should proceed, and lo! I found some useful links in Linkedin. Luck favours the prepare d mind i realize. Evening went to sankey with vikas. Came home. Shashi came to home and he chatted for an hour. Night did not do much.

My Day - 25th Feb, 2012

6 years since I got recruited with Wipro. Good day.Got up late on day1 and went to sushma's daughters first birthday celebrations. Afternoon tried to meet vinod but his phone was not reachable. Went to Rajainagar and made a payment to Kotak of Rs 4000. Also went to UTI malleshwaram office after closing time and spoke to the manager.

Evening went for a half walk with vikas. Then met chethan and further rohit rao in front of sankey tank. Eventful day with a lot of friends

My Day - 24th Feb

Friday. Again, not much.

My Day - 23 Feb 2012

Thursday. Again nothing accomplished in office. Confused mind cannot progress further I understood.

Indecision is costing me too much.

My Day - 22nd Feb

Wednesday. Worked from home as I had a small madras eye on my left eye. Workwise did not do much except completing some testcases

My Day - 21st Feb 2012

Thought of working from home but came to office at 12. Now it is 9.30 pm and am still working.

My junior in office told I am his leitunent. Sad. How many days shall i continue to be under his shadow. When will I come out and show my brilliance. How to show brilliance?

My Day - 20th Feb 2012

Monday - Shivrathri!

I took leave but worked more than the normal day.
Evening - a small walk with Vikas + tea + lot of talk

Nothing special - went to 17th cross temple in the evening. They were worshiping Lord Shiva there. Tried to do Jagarne but slept after 12.15 AM :)

My Day - 19th Feb 2012

Sunday! I worked almost the whole day and at the end of the day realized that I still had a lot to do :)

Morning : As parents had gone to Ghatti Subramanya, I got up and started work. Went to Janatha after a long time with Vikas. It was good! Idly Vada + Plain Dosa + Coffee ..Yummm!!!

Came home and had to do Pooja. Did not have lunch today. Went out with Rohit to sankey in the evening and had channa batura.

Came back and started to work. A bit frustrated

My Day - 18th Feb , 2012

I reached Dharmastala at 4.15 AM today. Had a shock on how they had improved the toilets here.I had bath at the last hotel and came out at 4.45. As the luggage counter guy had to come I had to go back to the same hotel again. I even helped one Varaprasad for the luggage. I stood in the line at 5.30 and had Darshan of the Lord at around 6.30. I had breakfast of dipped vada , idly sambhar at Dharmastala. Then I decided to climb Babhubali and did not do so. It was a mistake. I missed the beautiful sunrise which I later saw in the bus i got in Subramanya. In Subramanya I went to the temple, had breakfast and sat in a bus that goes to Bangalore. Earlier I enquired about buses going to Kalladka (to have tea) or Bisle View point (auto guy said Rs 750 :( as roads are bad). I came to Bangalore at 5.30 and relaxed. Spoke to Raxit over skype. This is the first time i used skype. The connection was not good. So we decided to speak tomorrow

My Day - 17th Feb , 2012

Could not write about this day as I made a ZAP decision to go off to Dharmasthala and Subramanya. I went to office at 10.45 and a comfortable TT had come. In office I did some work but nothing great. Evening Ramesh came to my house to take the tent and backpack. Then at 8Pm i decided to go out of station. So I caught a 9pm Rajahamsa bus at Majestic that would go to Dharmastala.

My Day - 16th Feb , 2012

Work from home! So liberating :)

-Started off work at 8.10 in the morning, worked lazily till 1.00pm after which i pumped up
-Got a call from senior sw engineer saying no need to hurry as assignment is postponed till friday
-Sent him an email of all subdivisions in SRA 2.2
-Went for an evening walk with Vikas in Sankey. Pumped him up I think
-I came back home refreshed
-Work is happening in parallel with all these activities

I feel that people who are spiritual often do work beautifully. People who are less spiritual and more good at work sometimes do not know how to face an adversity. But spiritually mature people will handle work related adversity in a better way.I do not know where exactly I stand.

My Day - 15th Feb , 2012

I got up at 7.30 and started working. In office I was a bit relaxed. But the issue that I found yesterday was due to xml problem. So eveinign i stayed till 11pm in office. Entire one day of life dedicated to office. Working from home tomorrow..

My Day - 14th Feb , 2012

Personally the day was ok. I went to the cab in the morning and did some work in office. I actually went to office thinking I need to attend the meeting , but as meeting got postponed to tomorrow i felt bad. Nothing was working in office and due to stress I did not even feel like having lunch. Afternoon was ok. before leaving office i created a status in facebook saying "sorry guys I am busy, so could not meet you". That status was laughed at by Charan and rakesh. I went home and removed the message, the reason being as it was valentine's day, people would mistake me saying sorry to any girlfriend.

Personally I want all the bachelors to be true bachelors atleast for 6-7 years after they start working. Being true bachelor and trying to improve in life in any way is always important

My Day - 13th Feb , 2012

I went to office and reached at 8am only. Again noting much in office except work.
Went to breakfast at 9.30 with shantha, chandrashekar nanjaih, sanket. Afterwards had som financial discussion with Nanajaih. Sent him good MF's to invest. After lunch I spoke to Kushal , Manju and one girl. Afterwards I worked. Evening I did not do much, not evening meditation :(

My Day - 12th Feb , 2012

Work work work , on a sunday!

I got up early, worked till 9.30. Then me and Vikas went to Snakey tank for half walk. We went to Surya refreshments and had breakfast. It was tasty. After this we had coffee in Food Camp. I went to Ganesh Darshini and had coffee. Went home and worked. Slept for sometime in the afternoon and worked. Worked in the evening too. I said no to chethan and ramakrishna (Manasa Sarovar). I just worked till night

My Day - 11th Feb , 2012

Hey,

I went to Huliyurdurga today and ended up trekking the wrong mountain with vikas.

I got up at 5.30 in the morning, woke up Vikas and started off to magadi roag

Had nice coffee in a road side hotel in magadi road

Had tatte idly + menthe vada in a small hotel (ranganatha hotel) in magadi

The road from magadi to huliyurdurga is 30 kms is beautiful, we took some snaps there.

I also slept on the road as it was beautiful. We reached Huliyurdurga at 10.30, climbed a hill by 10.55. I slept on the hill and eagles were revolving over me

Then we went down and meditated in the Krishna temple down. It was peaceful

After this we went to the deepambudi tank and saw nature. From here we returned towards bangalore, had coffee on the way and came to basaveshwarnagar, Pavitra Paradise. Well , we did not know that there was no lunch in this hotel. So we went to another hotel nearby, where my slow lunch eating tested Vikas's patience.

After this I came home and to my horror found that the machines that were supposed to be turned on were not done for the weekend. So called Joseph, sent mail thanking him and finally got the servers up

Then Ajay,Padmini,Anuttara came and we enjoyed Anuttara's plays! Also me and Naina brought Diaper to Anuttara. That's it..A hectic day

My Day - 10th Feb , 2012

This is a Friday.

This day was just another day of lot of work and a small realization that the load might be low. But I guess the load again was heavy only :) . i even had a thought that i can do much work during the weekend. So i called up vikas and told him about a trek plan. I called hemanth and told him of Udupi plan in the bus. I came home at 9pm in th evening and did not do anything.

Just another day dedicated to emc and not myself

My Day 9th Feb , 2012

Frustration!
What more can I say. Some job is given that will involve me all day and all night and the shit setup always does not seem to work ONLY for me. Now also I am not fully sure if the setup will work for me as the work is still half done. And I have to show the results by Tuesday it seems, what crap. Saturday and Sunday also I need to work. What is happening here. I am overworked. See I am learning something, fine. But this is too much overwork.

Morning I woke up at 7.45 and worked in home till 10.30. I went to office in Lokesh cab and reached office. In office I wasted time installing and reinstalling. Then with the same senior developer's help I could find out the reason for the setup problem(setup problem came after re installing also) and with the help of lab team senior I could resolve the problem. Evening I started my work. I stayed in office till 10PM. I ate Adigas dinner first time in office and it was Rs 50! (which I asked him - so much?).I had dinner with Sinu. Came home in cab, while speaking to the "tall-11.30-cab-guy-who-also-treks :)". Came home , watched TV for10 mins and slept.

Anxiety is causing a lot of stress. Anxiety about not finishing the work. This is leading to mistakes at work.

My Day - 8th Feb , 2012

Phew, a better day, with some compliments from atleast 2 people

The day began with a sombre note and I cried today, after a long time, but personally. It was because I know I am suffering from ADD but cannot tell people why I struggle to keep up the pace in many activities. I slept in the 10.30 cab and went to office in half mood. By afternoon, nothing much had happened, when suddenly I felt I need to finish off the clariion stuff. I spoke to Sreepathi and he told it is fine. What a relief. Now I sent an email to all and got a compliment from the development manager that the work is good. I also sent the QE status so well that manager did not come back. After this I asked how reliance dongle works in the evening cab.

After I got down from the cab I picked up a pen drive that I found on the road. I went back home and called up Archana Devanur. She came to my place and picked up the pen drive an thanked me a lot.

Now I am working with SRA and as usual facing some or the other issue

My Day - 7 th Feb , 2012

Phew, just 5 hours of sleep and got up at 6.43 after I switched off the alarm at 6AM itself. Came to office with full of stress thinking I need to add iscsi initiators. I come to office and i see those initiators are there!!! Then I thought it is all an acot of God. It is! So sent a mail to Raxit about Kanakadasa. First he said what is TM - Tanscendental meditation.

After some 3-40 minutes of listening to Baba, i started work in full throttle again. When nothing was working I was called for a meeting. Wasted one hour in the meeting, but Shanthu was of great help today. Afternoon everything went fine and recovery worked with DPM but without Hyperv. Now I am sitting in cab and writing this

Came back home fully dejected. Went for a walk in sankey after having MD in Ganesh Darshini. Switched off phone as I did not want to speak with anyone. Afternoon I read about all symptoms of Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and I have it. Now , ignorance is bliss and realizations can cause confusions. When i said this to Raxit he said I am thinking too much. I need to speak to him. Again stayed till 12 am midnight to finish some work.

If I was ignorant about my disorder in brain, I would not have these confusions. But I feel this is better . Atleast I do know I have some problem , so I can rectify it. Better to see the positive side of things. May be I am sent to this earth so that I can accomplish something inspite of this issue. But feeling a bit down..

Well, another busy day where I felt I am delivering some value to EMC

Day started lazily again at 6.42. Nothing auspicious. Just that I get up at that time or else I can neither excersie not have breakfast. So today I exercised but did not have breakfast. Wrote yesterday's events in office cab today morning. In office i finished many non office tasks in the morning. After this I started on run for differential sessions. Also showed how to enable VSS trace for windows. Had lunch, cofee almost back to back. Also, gave a brilliant analyses in Investta. Suddenly got a call from senior developer saying we have meeting. In meeting they told me to do 5 activities by tomorrow. Then I suddenly asked another senior test engineer when I should finish DMX testing . He said by friday, i said a firm NO. I think he became angry. So he replied in red, my mistake in the setup email that I sent to him. But he became cooler when I said we will tell Raza about my inability to do DMX task due to DPM. Also we ended the official day about an incident from Ombattu Gudda with fellow test engineer, one year younger to me in academics.

I came home, mom was making Bajjis from yesterday's Ashish visit. I ate them, went to sankey tank where I met another college friend Vibhav. He was trying to jog around. I walked an spoke with him for 1 hour, mainly regarding laptops and computers, RAM (always get confused about my laptop size RAM). Came home, meditated, and then sat in from of the comp. Suddenly felt a shock that whatever I had done was a mistake. So i reveiwd but later found it was correct. Now trying to understand how exactly Quorum works

I feel a lot about others thinking unhappy/bad/angry on me. Today it happened with senior test engineer. I am not sure if he was angry, but if someone sends me a mail marking in bold red, I feel it was angry.

Good thing today is I reviewed HOW I had to perform in office. ALways , if i feel the task i hard, I tend to postpone and do all those activities to avoid the task. I did not do that today and worked on the hardest task once. So i was very happy regarding that!!

My Day - 5 th Feb , 2012

It was one day where "talk" ruled the roost. Ashish and fiance Pallavi came home for the first time together and we his talked and chatted for 8 hours.

I woke up early morning thinking I should not waste today just like yesterday. I started my computer and tried to conect to office computers.Alas! As i did not raise any request to switch on those machines for the weekend thinking they would be switched on :(. So, I started reading a document related to it so that i do not waste time. After this I got scolded by mother as I still did not have breakfast even at 10.15. SO I went out to Vikas's home, called hin m, waited for 15 min to come out of the bathroom. Then we went to Food Camp for breakfast. It was a good set of Pooris. After this I could not get business line newspaper from the 15th Cross corener shop. Came back ome
and started reading the doc again,along with waiting for Ashish and relative to come.

Ashish and wife + their parents came at 12 AM. This was their first visist to our home after their marriage in October. Now, we had lunch , chatted, chatted and chatted til 8PM. I even prepared a tea for them in the evening. After this I had dinner and went to terrace. Called Rohit and Arvind, no response. So called up Vinod. Spoke to him for one hour till 11.30. Then I read some book and slept!

Came to one sort of a structured decision on WHAT TO BE after 10 years , atleast in IT.

Evening I was just talking to Vinod on HOW BORING IT IS TO GO TO OFFICE. I think it is becuase it is not in sync with WHAT I REALLY WANT. But I am not sure WHAT I WANT. SO my present job is something I am holding on to atleast because of the money. May be if I myself had studied information technology,in my style,just like how I am reading finance ,then I would have been interested in that. I feel it is just because that right now I am not on top of my job that I am not enjoying it. When I was in Sun Ray I was on top of job, so I was enjoying it. But why I was on tp of my job? Because I was stretching in the evenings also. I did not think anything beyond job. I did not think I wanted some evening time off to myself to do anything. So I was in sync with everything. So does that mean to be in sync with your job , should you stretch and make your entire day as work?

My Day - 4 th Feb , 2012

Looks like there is some script that runs daily within my body that makes me lazy. I feel i just wasted my day. I did not even bother to cook dal. The whole day was so free and I wasted like an ass. Tomorrow Ashish and wife , family are coming home and evening I have to meet Ramakrishna and Mohan. It will be bad if I miss even one meeting. Today I could have finished all the learning work regarding SRA. It is pure lazyness that I am not doing anything. Atleast I discussed something with Sreepathi about work.

Morning started lazily with me getting up at 9.15. Things moved lazily. Afternoon I slept. Evening did some useless cleaning work. Nothing, absolutely nothing of goal attainment value. Then later on I went to sankey taken. While coming back I met sreepathi. We talked and I found I could spend time with him. He is one of those seniors who do not have air about him.Went to Adigas and had coffee.

Night i came back and wasted my time browsing. Saw missed call from Raxit. Sad that I could not speak to him.

One good thing about today is I am going in the right way to decide what exactly I can do to accomodate my goals. The problem sometimes is I myself am not clear about my goals. So i am unable to decide what exactly I want to be. Sometimes I want to be -business man with a lot of power
-sometimes a brilliant IT executive + brain research + pranic healing + philosophy master and all those things.

The problem is, deep within my heart I want to be famous. I guess it is because of my "slowly declining as I have become aware" inferiority complex. This inf complex was from my childhood. I still feel inferior compared to others in any sphere of life, be it play, or work or studies. But if some one sees me from outside, I have everything :), excellent family, richness, philosophical bent of mind, intelligence, financial awareness, a fit trekker who knows a lot of routes, good job that pays be excellent salary and so many things more.

Hope I can juggle a lot of balls tomorrow. May be I will not go for a swim tomorrow. I will have to start reading about SRA pdf, SRA documents and see what is there in SRA. Man ! -> If I can know lots about SRA then my value in the market increases leaps and bounds. But first I need to document what all I have learnt so that I can channel it in a presentable way.

My Day - 3 rd Feb , 2012

What a day!!!

Got up a bit late, but still had breakfast. In office I told my senior development engineer that the solution that he suggested was working. He called me for breakfast and I had Amul Kool Cafe with him! After this till afternoon the helpful senior developer helped me to get the DPM setup up. Afternoon I was speaking to collegue on a lot of things, including sending emails. Sent an email before leaving office. I was very conscious of my work from 345 to5.15. I was very efficient! .I am sure people are OK with the progress.

I was in office cab when many people called me. Wipro friend Suresh Bhat called and we spoke for 45 minutes. Then Srikanth called saying let us meet up. Then Vikas called. Me srikant Vikas went to Raghavendra stores to have a nice plate of Idly Vada! Came back home, was aimlessly browsing the internet when Raxit called. He spoke to me regarding the mantras and their effect on yantras. Wow , I had never known this. Good day

I posted comments on a stupid facebook discussion thread.

My Day - 2nd Feb , 2012

Day started off better. Awoke 3 minutes earlier. So I could do those Baskis at least to feel a bit fresh before going to office. Also had breakfast before going to office. As colleague was not in office I had to take care of DPM with HyperV.

It was a bit difficult for someone like me to take care of new 'chota' projects as I am always confused whether to go ahead with learning a new feature or not, I am not sure if it helps me career. I guess I just have to take what comes to me, as that is what I am paid for, and if I full ACCEPT what comes to me, that means I break inner resistence, I would be in complete acceptance with whatever I am doing. Then I feel the universe will get me the jobs which might help me in my path

Leaving aside philosophy which has become my DNA now, I had lunch with collegues in the afternoon. After the lunch, when I was in the state of inertia and my work was going slow, there was a jolt from the manager regarding the status of the DPM work. This is because the development manager had mailed all of us a similar question. After working our with one efficient development engineer, I framed the replies and also continued with work. The development engineer sounded angry and at one time did not give me respect by RDP'ng my windows machine without informing me. I felt that was very rude. He is a good person. Not sure why he did that.

I feel very sad when those things happen. I feel this is because of the inherent inferior complex that I had carried from my troubled childhood. If I make a mistake then I always think whether others think of me as a dumb guy, an inefficient guy. I give a lot of importance to that thought of what others think of me. So in this case, due to my thinking, I still consider that the development engineer was thinking I am a waste engineer. I am not sure how I can resolve this issue.

I was speaking to a few people that day on a new thought of mine. Middle class life in India has become such that, if they want to achieve anything, they have to take a loan. So they are in debt for the majority part of their life. A guy first takes

-education loan and finishes paying that after around 2-3 years. He is around 24 now
-Immediately he takes 2 wheeler loan and finishes paying that after around 2-3 years
-Then imediately he takes a car loan and finishes paying that after around 5-7 years
-He gets married and has babies by the time he is half way through the car loan.
-Now he buys a flat, takes home loan and pays for 15-20 years
-At this point of time children are grown up and their education loan starts....and the cycle continues.

All this time, the middle class guy wanted to become rich, so he invested in education. He wanted to stay in his own house and drive his own new car, so he invested in car, 2 wheeler etc. But one thing. Isnt this bad?


I came home and walked in sankey with Vikas. Good that I did not waste time and came back home early at 8.10. I did not utilize my evening home time again.I am worried that my bachelor life is getting wasted by checking out emails/facebook and checking of I can help some one in a personal finance blog

My Day - 1st Feb , 2012

Got UP at 6.40, had tasty dosas for breakfast(first time in home after many years of carry-breakfast-have-at-office-syndrome) before going to office . No exercise :(. But atleast I had breakfast before going to office as plannd.So I got good sleep in office cab

Office: Had tea with a collegue, created a document on SRA luns, Worked with shanthu on DPM. Tried contacting Neelam about Activ Directory setup. We are in the process of creating domain controller. Also interacted with Arthi for DPM. Had tasteless tea from Shashi's for lunch. Did not go for tea when Sushma,Shanth,Shiva went for evening team.

Reached home at 6.30. Had a superb dinner+TV+newspaper combo and went out to walk in Sankey. The breeze was beautiful. Saw Vibhav, a college age friend, but did not speak to him as I wanted to be alone today. After the walk I had tea at Baccha's shop. Came back home, meditated and started work.

Work is going good because I am learning a lot of new things like configuring DPM, Activ Directory, Domain Controller etc.

Meditation means - thoughtless state of mind. Right now I am observing thoughts as and when they come. I also get carried away by thoughts. I have to see what I can do to speeden up the process of joining the divine.